The Worst Film Of All Time

Sex and the City 2: Please, Please, Please End

14th June 2010

I have a policy of giving every film a chance, even if I am 100% sure that I am going to despise it. After watching Sex and the City 2, I don't want to keep that policy intact anymore.

With the first film, although it was not to my taste, I could see why a certain audience segment would like it: it had an easy to follow storyline with enough dramatic twists and turns to make it last the 2 and a half hours, and each character had their own clearly defined sub-story with some successful attempts at light humour throughout.

The second, however, I struggle to see how anyone can enjoy it at all. Let's start with the acting. Peter Griffin once said "They let Sarah Jessica Parker's face on TV and she looks like a foot". You'd get much better acting out of a foot. The other three aren't much better, either. And all of the characters are so incredibly dislikeable - Carrie is annoying, selfish and whiny, Samantha is a 50-year old who is slutty for the sake of being slutty, and I can't even remember the name of the last one, because she plays such a minor role, but she's ridiculously uptight about everything. Their husbands aren't much better either. "Big" is a typical lazy slob and the total opposite to Carrie, which makes you wonder why the hell they're together in the first place, the ginger one's husband is just a weird geek and cheated on his wife in the last film, and the Jewish guy has perhaps two lines in the whole film - but at least this means there's no reason to hate him.

Moving on to the story. Or therelackof. For the first hour of the film, nothing really happens. There's some girl with an atrocious Irish accent who doesn't wear a bra. Highlight of the film. Carrie and Big have an argument. Nothing happens for a while. Then suddenly, Samantha's been invited by a strange man to go to the United Arab Emirates! Of course, without any suspicions, the girls head off to the least sex-friendly culture in the whole world with the most promiscuous woman in the whole world (what a laugh, right?). Then, again, for ages, nothing happens. There are a few points of drama but they are resolved in literally a matter of seconds and are incredibly predictable and dull. Then they are on the run because Samantha tries to have sex in public and they are rescued by some Arab women who, underneath their burqas, wear the same fashion sense as the women from New York (which, I might add, looks like shit).

Then nothing happens and the film ends.

I was genuinely annoyed by the end of this film. It was so bad that the four chavs in front who didn't shut up almost enhanced the experience. If you're looking for a chick flick, watch one of the British romcoms from Working Title - at least they don't make you want to eat your own eyeballs, shit them out and then stomp on them.