The Day I Met James Bond

"You're excellent."

15th October 2012

Nearly five years later, we bid a sad farewell to Sir Roger Moore, but I will always cherish the moment he asked me to have a nice day.

When, as I sometimes do, I visited Bluewater (the once famed 'largest shopping centre in Europe' and retail jewel of the South East of England) with my girlfriend, Gabi, to buy a new jacket, I had to do a double-take when I walked past Waterstones. For outside, on a sign, were words that I did not expect to see:

Sir Roger Moore will be signing his new book on October 13th, 2012 at 3 p.m.

I knew I had to. This would probably be my only chance ever to meet a real-life Bond. He wasn't the best Bond, but he wasn't the worst, and dammit, even Lazenby was a Bond. I'd take anything.

Diligently, Gabi kindly stood in line for four hours with me to meet one of my heroes. As the time approached we both became increasingly excited - this man was a knight, known the world over, and I was going to meet him, face-to-face. What would I say? What would I do? Doubts started to form in my head as to whether I could actually handle this. I would be under so much pressure to say something to this man that had shaped my childhood so much, something memorable. Of course, he's 85, so that wasn't going to happen, so I stopped trying to.

As we were waiting, a birthday card for Ol' Sir Rodge was passed round to us, so I was forced to write a message to him that he probably wouldn't read, but I wrote simply - Happy Birthday, you absolute legend. Hopefully I'd be able to come up with something more witty soon. Gabi went for the more inventive My boyfriend wishes he was you... and I wouldn't mind! (Pretty much 100% true).

Shortly after, the queue began to shuffle forward, bit by bit. My heart skipped a beat. Roger Moore was actually here. He was 100 fucking feet away, and I started to lose it a bit in my mind. Slowly but surely, we made our way into the shop. Gabi got the camera at the ready as my hands were shaking far too much to take photos myself. We peered round the screen, and there he was.

We were told he couldn't stand up very well and that due to time constraits there would be no dedications or posed photography. By this point I didn't care - he was 85, frankly I was impressed he had left the house. I was too busy trying to place myself in the very real situation that I was in the same room as James Bond. My book was passed to him. My turn was up.

As he signed the book, my mind was racing. I couldn't say nothing. So for some reason I turned into Bill S. Preston and Ted "Theodore" Logan and said "You're excellent!". It made me realise that I very rarely say the word "excellent" out loud. Having heard it all one-hundred-and-ten times already that afternoon, he smiled to me and said "Have a nice day". As I was dragged escorted quickly away from the desk, I called back "It was amazing to meet you!". I then had to stand in awe for a second. Firstly because I'd met a hero, secondly because all I could say to him was "You're excellent", and thirdly because James Bond had told me to have a nice day.

Ok, I promise after Skyfall there'll be no more Bond blogs for a while. Unless Sean, Timmy, Pierce, Daniel, or even George pop by unexpectedly.